An Ode to the Mighty Bloody Surgeons

When erythrocytes are spilled
Many a surgeon would go “S%$IT!”
But not the Mighty Vascular Surgeon
Who smiles and says “Come on!”

Since young he dreams of balloons
Till old he plays with balloons
Poke, poke here, and pump, pump there
Let’s get those vessels flowing with flair

With a cheeky smile, and a twisted mind
With a thick wallet and a stent behind
The Mighty Vascular Surgeon walks the ward
Thinking everyone’s in awe

The smokers fear him
The diabetics adore him
The multi-toed worship him
And the toe-free pays him

Whether you are ischaemic, or haemorrhagic
Or just plain aneurysmic
Whatever the bloody specific
Fear not, The Vascular Surgeon is here to fix

Aaah… The Mighty Vascular Surgeon
Once they get you, they ain’t letting you go
They start from them toes
And up to those groins, going, going, goes

From A to Z they wield their control
Abdominal Aneurysm to Zenith Endovascular control
They have the power
They have the money

They love to strip
Veins, that is
They love to disimpact
Arteries, that is

The Mighty Vascular Surgeons
No vessels they can’t unblock
If they can’t, they’ll divert
Or to open they’ll convert

The Mighty Vascular Surgeons
Their lives are simple red and blue
If it’s white, they’ll turn them pink
If it’s black, they’ll amputate to nothing

This ‘piece of work!’ is dedicated to my Vascular Surgery friends both tangible and virtual.
No vascular surgeons were harmed in the making of this masterpiece.
Image thanks to Cook Medical,
With whom I am not associated.


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