Christmas Wish For My Patients

Here’s what I’m wishing for my patients:

 

Ear

Waterproof hearing aids that do not rely on batteries.

A tablet taken in the first trimester that would eliminate the development of congenital ear malformation.

A percutaneous, image guided insertion of a cochlear implant under local anaesthesia.

A pill to eradicate otosclerosis and acoustic neuroma.

A trans tympanic suction device that would extract cholesteatoma.

A fibreoptic trans tympanic device to microscopically inspect the middle ear.

An ultrasonic lithotripsy device to eliminate otoliths and BPPV.

A once off nasal spray to cure Meniere’s.

Tissue engineered ear drum.

 

Nose

A once off injection to desensitize the nasal mucosa and ablate polyposis.

A nasal spray that would shrink the inferior turbinate.

A microscopic robotic fibreoptic device for sinus surgery, transsphenoidal pituitary and anterior cranial fossa surgery.

A small cream application to expand and stiffen the nasal aperture and eliminate nasal obstruction.

 

Throat

A once off inhaled medication to prevent tonsillitis, pharyngitis, laryngitis.

A tablet to reduce the size of tonsils and base of tongue to reduce OSA.

An inhaled medication to eradicate vocal cord polyps.

An antiviral tablet to eradicate laryngeal papilloma.

Stem cell and tissue engineered vocal cords.

 

Head & Neck

An antiviral medication to eradicate Human Papilloma Virus.

A blood test to screen for and diagnose, thyroid and head and neck cancer.

A stem cell application to re-grow a resected tongue, floor of mouth and palate.

A sculptured implantable larynx, maxilla and mandible.

Endoscopic parotidectomy.

A handheld robotic fibreoptic device for transoral tumour removal.

Injections that would kill malignant cells in the lymph nodes.

A tablet that would kill melanoma cells.

 

Paediatric ENT

A nasal spray to stiffen the larynx and eliminate laryngomalacia.

A perfectly designed and implantable laryngotracheooesophageal complex to treat airway stenosis, laryngeal clefts and tracheooesophageal fistula.

A cream to eliminate arteriovenous malformation.

An inhaled medication to eradicate upper respiratory tract infection and otitis media.

 

And many other wishes.

 

But most of all,

That the whole world would stop smoking.

 

What are your Christmas wish for your patients?